The light skinned/dark skinned thing

This is, to say the least, getting under MY skin. I understand the problems a majority of dark skinned sistah have to go through in this country. There is little representation of the beautiful dark skinned AA woman. Just like there is little representation of the beautiful full figured woman. But why does that give dark skinned/full figured women the right to look down upon, or even demonize, light skinned/skinny women?!?!

This topic comes up in a majority of blogs I read as well as conversations I've had with friends and even some family. It bothers me to no end because I feel that in praising one the other gets trampled on with a vengeance. From a personal perspective, I'm neither dark nor light, I'm more the caramel complected (if that's a word) in between. I'm also neither fat nor skinny. Once again I happen to be in the middle. But I'm called dark by light skinned chicks and yella by dark skinned chick, a skinny bitch by fat girls and...well no one's ever call me big. Thick yes, but that's a description I wear with pride :0)

Anyway what's with the light skin bashing? After all one of the beautiful things about the AA culture (and if you know me you know I don't see a lot in it in this day and age) is that we come in so many coloures.  From passing white to blue-black brown. Just because you're a yella chick doesn't mean you are better than anyone darker than you. And in the same respect just because you are a dark skinned woman doesn't make you any more special than woman lighter than you.

Everyone wants to be represented well. It's something about this human culture in general that people want to be seen in the best view to the masses as possible. It's also understandable that when one group is dehumanized by another they lash out by trying to dehumanized the group that put a negative image on them. We are all African American women, and honestly all of us want the same thing. To be loved for who we are. So quit with the "I'm a BEAUTIFUL BLACK woman and I'M authentically BLACK because my skin is darker than yours" and the "I'm BETTER than you because I'm LIGHTER and light skin is sooooo BEAUTIFUL." BS to the both of you!!!! You're beautiful because you are a woman. You are beautiful because you know how to groom yourself and keep up your appearance.  You are beautiful because you value yourself and walk with pride.  Your skin is just your souls clothing. It's not who you are. To you vain chicks out there... GET OVER YOURSELVES.

First ever IR book review: Because of You by Rochelle Alers

Well imagine my happy fortune walking past the Wal-Mart book section and spotting one of the books on my Amazon.com wish list. My breath catched and honestly my heart rate picked up. I'm an avid book reader so this tends to happen when I finally find and can read a novel I've been lusting after for a while. In this case it wasn't just the book, it was the genre. BW/WM IR romance.

A few post back I wrote that I'd finally found romance and paranormal romance novels that cater specifically to a woman like me. I'm an AA woman living in the USA that loves WM. Now I finally got to read so much longed for romance stories about just this kind of couple. Thank you Amazon.com/Wal-Mart and enter Rochelle Alers.

Now for all intents and purposes Ms. Alers' book delivers on all the well known romance landmarks. Poor damsel in distress, knight in shinning armor sees and falls instantly in love with her (even though he tries vehemently at first to deny it), she rejects him (even though he's the best thing she's seen since mom's apple pie), they are somehow confined to a small space and forced to confront each other and their growing, undeniable attraction. Oh and let us not forget the sex. :0)  Yes the hot and heavy sex in which said knight sheds his armor and takes Ms. Damsel to heights she's never known before.

For the basic content the book was pretty good. However I have a bone to pick. The major issue in the story (the issue that puts Jordan Wainwright and Azizza Flemming, our two main characters, together) is not something I would have chosen to put in a romance novel. Granted it could have definately worked, if the story was longer and more believable.

WARNING FOR ANYONE THAT MAY READ THIS BOOK: SPOILERS AHEAD

Azizza is a successful lawyer that has just been through a failed marriage (due to her husband becoming jealous of said success while his career went to the shitter), and sexual harassment at the hands of her boss, the man that made her career so successful.

Jordan Wainwright is the adopted grandson of the city's major real estate mogule (and slum lord) and also happens to be THE top lawyer in all of the five boroughs. Upon hearing Azizza's intent to sue her former boss for sexual harassment he decides to help her win her case. Insert unaviodable attraction and excuse to be near Lady Damsel.

Jordan spends the entire book telling himself he will keep their "relationship" professional in the quest to win Azizza's harassment case, however he is so besotted with her he can't seem to keep his hands to himself. You'd think that would be an issue with a woman that has just recently (as recently as a year) gotten divorced from an unsupportive husband, and is actively suing a man for blatently expressing his sexual interest in her. I understand that she feels an equal attraction to Jordan which makes all the difference but it just doesn't seem feesible to me that a woman who was sexually harassed by her boss, and then again by her husband would fall into the arms of yet another man no matter how good looking.

I guess my issue with this book is that aside from it being unbelievable it was hard to continue through because of the back and forth Azizza does in first wanting Jordan so badly she can't stand it then becoming so enraged that he dare make sexual inuendos at her during their arguments. There was very little on the case she was supposedly building against her former boss (which in my opinion would have made this story way more interesting) and IMHO there are characters that play absolutly no part in the plot. It feels as if Ms. Alers just needed another book out so she quickly hashed this one out to her publishers just to give them something. It was disappointing.

So in conclusion, lol, if you are looking for something simple to read just to get your blood a little heated for a late night rendevou don't miss Because of You. If you like more believable story lines mixed in with your romance, I wouldn't recommend this particular novel.

Letter to my heart

Oh my heart. My precious, gullible, too trusting heart. When will you learn that not every guy you find yourself attached to is "the one"? When will you stop causing me grief because you lead me to believe he was better than the last guy? When will you finally allow your fellow organ and our rational partner, my brain, take over in relation matters so that we may no longer find ourselves in these disappointing situations?

My heart I know you want love, but what love is there to be found in something rushed? You can't honestly expect something permanent and long term with someone you've known for less than six months. Someone you might be leaving soon anyway. You yearn for companionship and comfort, I know. But you're going to have to wait. It sucks; seems like everyone around you has found what they are looking for and all you are left with is the grunge. Take solace in the fact we haven't even really explored our world. Be patient with me because I intend to take you to wondrous places where there are plenty of other hearts out there that yearn just like you. It'll happen soon. I promise.

Please my heart no more. I can't take your crying and your heaviness. I can't stand the longing you feel. I don't want the disappointment you so strongly pump through me every time he says and/or does something that hurts you. I just need to breath for a little while. So be light. Let our head take over so you can rest. Your mate is out there and we will find him. Just give me time to get my bearings and let me breath.