When you wake up in the morning do you check in with anyone to see what you should wear? Or do you pick out an outfit you feel is flattering to you? Do you check in with anyone to determine which soap or body wash you should use? Or do you use whichever body wash you think smells good and moisturizes your skin well? Do you ask anyone where you should live, how you should style your hair, whether or not you should wear makeup, drive a certain car, like certain foods, travel to certain places, read certain books or pursue a certain career field. Or do you simply do these things because they make you happy, fulfill a certain place in your life, and contribute something beneficial to your being?
I ask these questions because I'm betting that the response from a majority of grown women in today's society would say, "I make these decisions for myself. Why would I need anyone to make those decisions for me? Hell why would I let anyone make those decisions for me?" PRECISELY! Why would you? So why then do a majority of women in the "black community" allow others to make the decision of who they date/marry/become lovers with? Why is it that BW allow themselves to internalize rumors and negative stereotypes about men of other races/cultures fed to them by the "black community"?
If you truly are your own woman and have a mind of your own you'd have the sense enough to not bite and hang on to what I like to call "fool's knowledge". What is fool's knowledge you ask? Fool's knowledge is "knowledge" that people have that you cannot verify yet take as fact only because a lot of people believe it's true. As an independent woman, a woman of her own mind, body, spirit and uniqueness you should know that banking on rumors will hinder you, not benefit you.
Fact: the marriage rate amongst BM to BW is about or around 30%.
Fact: There are way more non-BM attracted to BW than the "bc" would like you to believe
Fact: BM are NOT the only men that know how to satisfy a women intimately
Fact: More BW receive a higher education with a 7:1 college entry rate in the United States alone
FACT: According to a Census taken in 2008 there were approximately 20,400,000 BW to 18,600,000 BM living in the US. Of those 18 million less than half will marry, less than that will marry BW. That leaves OVER half the BW living in the United States single and alone.
I see, hear, and read too many BM arguing, begging, and crying for "Sistahs" to stay "loyal" to a "brotha." Too many getting unduly upset with the BW that have opened their mind to expand their options to include non-BM in their dating pool. And too many BW listening to the "bc" when they tell them (BW) who they should and should not date.
To tie this into my topic I asked the questions above to make this point. You don't let anyone tell you what to do in regards to every aspect of YOUR PERSONAL life....except with who you date? Why? Why let anyone guilt trip you into believing you owe anything to the "black community" simply because you share the same skin tone? You owe no one but YOURSELF. You are a woman and deserve to have the life you want. You deserve to have that 5, 6, 7 hundred thousand dollar house you love so much. Hell you deserve to have that million dollar house you love (that's me :0) ). You deserve to have the sexy car, the nice clothes. You deserve to be pampered and spoiled. You deserve to have a man that dotes on you all your desires. You deserve to have a man that protects and provides for YOU. And if that man happens to be a non-BM, who is ANYONE to tell you you shouldn't be with him because "he's not black"? What does it matter that a man that does all this for you and more does not share the same phenotype as you or the "men" within your culture? And why would you care?
You owe NO ONE. For all those that continually scream that BW should ONLY date and/or (because there is even less chance of this) marry BM because "if you don't you must not care about (or even hate) Black people", know that they have NO interest in YOUR happiness, health or wellbeing. They actually have no interest in "preserving" the black race either. If these wolf criers gave a rat's belly about Black people their concerns would not be focused on who you date/marry. Their concerns would be geared toward cleaning up ghetto communities, getting a better education system in place for our kids, banning and/or boycotting the majority of "music" put out containing disturbing and degrading messages that Black people listen to and idolize, putting stronger laws in place for deadbeat fathers and mothers and ENFORCING on those laws when called upon, advocating better family structures, proper contraceptive actions, safer sex practices and abstinence. They would focus on the problems within the "Black Community" at the ROOT instead of sweeping the flames from the top (worrying about who you date and more competition for BM) and concerning their selves with irrelevant issues while masquerading it as concern for the whole.
Don't misconstrue what I'm saying here. You can have everything you want in life with a BM, granted you've vetted him enough to know for certain he will provide all those things for you. That goes for any man, Black, White, Asian, Hispanic or whatever. HOWEVER the fact that the "bc" is telling you NOT to expand your search in love and to LIMIT yourself to ONLY BM is a problem. DO NOT LIMIT YOURSELF. Don't be a victim of fool's knowledge. Brush aside the rumors, accusations, hate talk, prejudice, spitefulness, jealousy, and outright LIES and make a decision for YOURSELF. If love is what is important to you, if a better quality of life is important to you, be bold. Be courageous. Step outside the proverbial "Black community" that wants to put limits on you and tell you you CAN'T. Dare to look for LOVE, not color. I promise you that even if that love happens to be with non-BM but it is true, sincere, loyal, genuine and faithful, you will have the best you could ever pray for.
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